Living With A Husband Hard Of Hearing

By Henry Hughes


Couples often look forward to the Golden Years, when money and leisure will be more plentiful and responsibilities less. However, having a husband hard of hearing can ruin the program if both partners aren't informed of the possibility of such impairment and of the challenges it may present. About half of senior marriages will encounter this problem.

One significant change is that the peaceful home may be peaceful no longer. If you're a wife whose husband comes home tired from a long day, or whose husband has retired and is around the house all day (another life change!), you may have noticed that the television has become so loud that ignoring it even in other rooms is impossible. Fortunately, there are things like ear phones that can help one person hear the sound without deafening everyone else.

One problem that doesn't have such an easy solution is that men, as they begin to lose their hearing, have trouble with high-pitched sounds. This, of course, includes their wife's voice. A woman who's used to pleasant conversation in the car or to communicating with her spouse in another room now finds herself often ignored. This may irritate her, which may bewilder her husband.

Or perhaps what she's saying is important, so she says it again, with wholly unnecessary emphasis and volume. "You don't have to shout!" he responds, and their happy meal is headed downhill fast. Counselors say that this common problem is very disruptive. They actually show women how to look directly at their husbands, pitch their voices low, and speak slowly and clearly. Only a well-informed and loving wife can accept this new approach gracefully, especially since her husband may not even notice her extra effort.

Hopefully both partners want to avoid letting a physical problem derail a happy union. The husband may have to steel himself to getting hearing aids - never as good as natural sound - and having them adjusted until they work well. The wife will have to remember not to talk from the other room, to allow for background noise, and to keep a pleasant expression on her face even as she repeats herself.

Many couples opt for extreme measures, like surgery. Implants used to be mainly for children but now are not unusual for seniors. Active men want to hear their wives, daughters, and grandkids. They don't want to miss sermons at church, phone conversations, or the general babble at family gatherings.

Getting informed before the problem exists or becomes severe may make it easier to handle. Experts say that being blind is less isolating than being deaf. Any circulation problems, such as those caused by high blood pressure, diabetes, or heart disease, can affect the ears. It's important to learn how to protect your ears and what can be done to keep your ability to hear longer.

There are specialists, clinics, and professional hearing aid technicians to help people cope with hearing problems. Men are especially prone to this condition, since many professions harm the inner ear. Carpenters, plumbers, miners, farmers, factory workers, musicians, and those in the military are often exposed to unsafe noise levels. Wives can help their husbands enjoy normal human interactions longer if they react proactively to this common problem.




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